By Bobbi Adams Recently was the time of the year for the arrival of what is known as the Epitome of Ego, the Christmas newsletter. Friends (my relatives know better) can't resist sending a lengthy detailed epistle describing everything that happened in their family since January 2006. This ranges from their grandchild's success at potty training to the fact that not only did number-one son get his degree magna cum laude, but there were a few extra cum laudes thrown in. I've had it. This year I am going to send out a newsletter of my own, only this time my letter will tell what's really going on. I'll start with the fact that not only is my grandchild not potty trained, but he displayed this lack while sitting on a counter at J.C. Penney's. My son number one has the distinction of having the largest collection of overdue parking tickets in the state, The only degree he got was fines to the Nth degree. I will also tell them I have gained ten pounds since starting my diet in September and may even include "before and after" photos. I am sure,upon receipt of my newsletter, my friends will endlessly discuss my family's lack of achievements, and may even relegate my composition to the circular file. But I figure my 39 cent investment will send them scurrying to their desks, not to reply with a letter of commiseration, but rather to scratch me off their Christmas newsletter list. Just what I will ask Santa for. Maybe the old guy will come through after all. If you would like to read about family foibles and finding the FUN in dysFUNctional
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